Finding the will to go on
by elricsyao
Summary: Barry disappears in crisis and comes back nine months later to discover that Iris is nearly ready to give birth


Iris stares at the alarm clock. Today was the day. The day that the newspaper had mentioned for six years. Tears burned her eyes. They had tried everything to get the newspaper to change but nothing had worked. Iris decided that whatever happened today that she and the team would fight to bring him home.

Iris turns over to face Barry. He's asleep. He looks so peaceful. She runs her fingers through his hair and smiles. She loves him so much and the thought of losing him destroys her. Suddenly Barry groans and his eyes flash open. Iris smiles at him. "Bad dream?" "You could say that." he says.

They lay in silence for what feels like ages. "You know I will always love you, right?" Barry takes her hand. "Yes." Iris says. He smiles sadly at her. "I just need you to know that whatever happens today, you need to keep moving." He cups her face in his hands.

"Barry…" she tries to say. "I tried doing that when you disappeared into the speedforce all those years ago. I can't do it again. The anger builds inside me and I start to resent you." She's crying now and it breaks Barry's heart to see her cry.

Barry wraps his arms around her and holds her close. "Ok, OK. I won't ask you to do that again." He holds her. "I thought we'd have more time." she sighs tearfully. "I know." He presses a kiss to her forehead.

Barry cups her face and brushes her hair out of the way. He tenderly kisses her. Iris pushes him down into the bed. She grabs his hair as they kiss. His lips make their way down her neck.

Barry quickly strips them of their clothes. He kisses his way down her body. Iris can't help but moan as he pleasures her in the way only he can.

Iris pulls him back up to her and pulls him down to her. Barry grips her wrists and pins them. They move together and Iris' moans grow louder.

She digs her nails into his back. Iris hopes she's not drawing blood. She gives Barry a look, apologizing. The look he gives forgives her. They make love for as long as they can until they collapse in each others arms.

Iris gingerly gets out of bed and pulls on one of Barry's shirts. She sees Barry grimacing as he looks at her. "Was I too rough?" He worries. Iris smiles. Iris remembers all of the groans of pleasures and the way they called each others names. Anyone would be sore for how long they went and the way they made love.

"No, you were just rough enough." She says. Barry rolls his eyes. "I can see by the way you're walking that I was too rough." he says. She laughs. He gets up when he hears a notification on his phone.

Iris focuses on getting ready until she sees Barry's face in the mirror. "It's Oliver." Barry says. She swallows the lump in her throat. "It's the monitor, he's requested that all the heros come to him and fight some evil." Barry looks scared and torn about what to do.

"Go. I'll go to Star Labs later." Iris says. Barry quickly gets dressed. He stops beside her at the mirror and takes her in his arms. "This isn't a goodbye." he whispers. "I know." she says. Barry presses a kiss to her forehead.

Iris stares at Barry's vitals on the monitor, Cisco beside her. "Barry what's happening?" She asks into the comms. "Reverse flash!" He yells. Iris is frozen for a moment until she pulls out of it.

"Iris." She hears on the coms. "Y-Yes?" She asks. "I-I know the way to stop him. I'm going to disappear if I use that way." he says. Tears burn Iris' eyes.

"I love you." She sobs into the comms. "I will come back to you." He says. "I will wait for you, forever if I have to." she sobs. "Iris I-." The communication ends.

Iris crumples to the ground and sobs. She feels arms wrap around her, Cisco's holding her. "What am I going to do without him? She sobs. Cisco comforts her the best he can but he's not Barry. Nobody could replace Barry.

The next few weeks are tough on Iris. They held a small memorial for Barry. Iris cried through all of it. It was so hard without him. She missed him everywhere she went and always thought of him.

Iris shut her emotions off as a way to try and get by. Her father seemed to notice it first, the Cisco, and everyone else. Nobody confronted her. How would they confront her for missing the love of her life?

Three weeks after she disappeared, Iris started vomiting. She didn't think anything of it until it started happening every morning. She had researched why she might've been vomiting. She found rare disease to pregnancy. Iris didn't think she could've been pregnant.

She and Barry had used protection before he disappeared right? She couldn't remember if they had.

Iris sets a doctor appointment for the next day. She was going to get to the bottom of all of this. She texts Cisco that she's going to be late the next day and not to worry. He texts back and asks if she's ok and she tells him she is. She turns off the phone and goes to bed.

"So Mrs. West - Allen, how've you been feeling?" The doctor asks after they do tests." "I've felt fine other than the vomiting every morning. I don't know why I've been doing that." Iris says.

The doctor nods. "Well let's take a look at the results." Her eyes scanned the paper and she nods from time to time. "Well Mrs. West - Allen, It looks as if you're pregnant." Iris is frozen. So she was pregnant.

Iris' hands instantly drop to her stomach. "How far along am I?" She asks. "seventeen weeks." The doctor answers. Iris nods. That was exactly how long it had been since Barry disappeared.

The doctor can tell she is surprised by her reaction. "If you don't want it then-." "No I do want it." Iris says abruptly.

The doctor smiles. "Well then, the due date is May 15th." the doctor says. The doctor then does an ultrasound.

Iris' eyes fill with tears when she hears the heartbeat of the baby. "She looks healthy." The doctor smiles. "She?" Iris asks. "You're going to have a healthy baby girl." Iris smiles. She really smiles for the first time since everything happened. She would protect the innocent life inside her.

*Five months later*

Iris waddles to the console. She sits down and scans the monitor for any signs of trouble. "Iris you're going to have a baby any day now. Why are you still asks?" Cisco asks as he walks into the room.

"I want to keep myself busy." She says. That was true and the thought of nothing to do would make her think of Barry and how much she missed him. "Joe, tell her she needs to go home." Cisco whines.

Iris looks at her father. He rolls his eyes. Cisco had become really dramatic around her recently.

Suddenly the monitor blows up with multiple power readings. That was strange. There usually wasn't much crime on the weekends. Iris moves to the side so Cisco can see what was going on.

"Oh ...my ...god." Cisco says. "What? What is it?" Iris asks worriedly. "Its reading that there's a speedster roaming around. Specifically one that matches the speed that Barry was at the last time when measured his speed." Cisco announces.

Iris gasps. He couldn't have come back could he? There wasn't anymore time for more conversation because the source of the energy streaked into the room. It was Barry.

Barry looked the same as when he left her all those months ago. Her handsome Barry came back. "Barry." she gasps. He smiles that big smiley grin that only Barry could give her. She runs into his arms and buries her face into his neck.

"I'm here, I'm finally here." he says to her. She's sobbing and laughing at the same time. She can't believe the love of her life is back. She pulls back and kisses him. He kisses her with the same intensity.

They pull back and he's smiling at her so hard. Suddenly Iris feels a large amount of pain and liquid on her legs. It looks like all of this excitement caused her water to break.

Caitlin gets Iris and Barry into a separate room and prepares them for what their about to face. "I'm so sorry." Barry says sorrowfully. "I wanted to be there for your pregnancy. I'm sorry I wasn't there." He says.

Iris shakes her head and holds his face. "I thought of you everyday and how you'd be so excited to see her. I knew you'd be there for me and my every need. I don't want you to be upset." She kisses his forehead and they rest foreheads against each other.

"Wait, she?" Barry asks after he pulls away. Before Iris can answer a strong contraction hits. "You're almost ready." Caitlin says.

Five hours of labor and fifteen minutes of pushing later and their daughter is here. She comes out screaming and crying. Iris flops back onto the bed. The baby is quickly cleaned up. She is handed off to Barry and he gives her to Iris.

They stare down at the beautiful baby girl in Iris' arms. Barry rests his head on Iris' shoulder. "She's perfect." Barry breaths. Iris smiled. She was so happy. Her husband was back and she had her daughter. This moment was perfect.


End file.
